FIRST: Please invite any “NOBS” you might have on your facebook friends list onto the “I like my family and friends on FB, except you. Cos you’re just a Nob” page. Or join the page and then just tag them in a post on there with a personal message. Join the page and let’s all have a laugh!
Jokes about the UK Riots in 2011 (August) starting in Tottenham, London – just incase anyone missed any of them:
Haloumi Kebabs in a lemon basil and garlic marinade, roasted mediterranian vegatable and feta salad with couscous, amorello cherry and almond cream terrine….
I’m not just any looter I’m an M&S Looter
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After rioters loot Carpet Right..Police say Tottenham now has Rug dealers on every street corner..
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?”Yeah man, we is ,living in such poverty, i is going to go out and riot and ting cos i is so disadvantaged and opressed”
Via Facebook for iPhone
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I wish I was poor enough to have a Blackberry to organise a riot!
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The rioters broke into Highbury police station and stole all the toilets.
Police have nothing to go on.
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A Police station in Huddersfield got broken into last night and looters stole all of their Satnavs.
Police are now looking for Leeds
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Fucking scrotes and chavs, destroying our community and giving our country a bad name for no reason!
And all this on my birthday too! Makes me sick!
On a brighter note, id like to take this opportunity to thank my uncle terrell for the 42″ plasma and new pair of trainers. Being on minimum wage, i cant imagine how hard you had to work to be able to afford all that for me. If only these other chavs would follow your example.
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Manchester police say the looters are not from Manchester.
Hmm, they must be United fans then?
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I am guessing all the starving Africans won’t give up their £2 a week to help rebuild Britain?
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Three nights with no riots in any Scottish cities.
Conclusive proof that Glaswegians don’t watch the news.
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Following the recent riots across the cities in England… the French have surrendered.
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I was watching the news with my girlfriend last night. “It looks like the Kaiser Chiefs were right.” I said.
“Yeah, very funny,” she replied. “I Predict A Riot.”
I said, “No… Everyday I Love You Less And Less.”
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During last night’s riots, Paddy and Murphy broke into Ladbrokes and lost £50
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Been out in the riots tonight, best night I’ve had in ages. Just need to clean all the blood off my baton and shield now.
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Why would anyone want to ruin their own country ?
Oh yeah its London, and none of them are in their own country!
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After the riots and looting in Tottenham, Boots did a stock take in their local store….
All that remained was fake tan.
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To be fair I wish everyone would stop stereotyping all of the rioters as niggers. I definitely saw at least one white person on the news and he was just as bad as the rest of them.
He was nearest to the camera and had stolen a Sky News microphone.
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Six shots fired in London, all missed.
Police are looking to question Fernando Torres.
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Unfortunately for the chavs and niggers, you can’t steal gcse’s…
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I’d like to congratulate the rioters on making us even more racist. Well done.
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I saw a black guy carrying a TV down the street yesterday so I smashed him over the head with a shovel.
I’d just like to take this opportunity to apologise to Argos and wish their delivery driver a speedy recovery.
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Bad news, the rioting has spread to Ireland.
Poor Paddy has just smashed his laptop screen, after trying to loot ebay.
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Sky News: Police to use Plastic Bullets.
Fuck me, the Recession has hit us harder than I thought.
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These rioting niggers are a fucking disgrace. Where are their parents when they’re out on the streets causing mayhem?
Oh yeah, in jail.
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman …
… had nothing to do with the London riots.
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Can we make sure the “Before” and “After” riot pictures of Croydon are clearly labelled, as it’s confusing to tell which is which?
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?1527 thieving rioting looters shot dead by the Army, many in the back of the head. Over 1000 in hospital with cracked skulls due to baton use by the police. Hundreds of scrotes torn apart by police dogs. The Army are moving in to finish rioters off in affected areas with bayonets, to save tax payers money on bullets. Carlsberg doesn’t do headlines but if they did…..
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Police are using water cannons in London tonight with a touch of persil to stop the coloureds from running.
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Just seen the manager of PC World on the news ranting on about how the thieving black bastards that plundered his store, should have their fucking hands chopped off, or be hung by their dicks from the nearest tree!
Wow! I thought. Now there is a guy who really needs to change the name of his shop.
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Just heard that the Met Police are going to be releasing CCTV footage of all the looting in Tottenham.
Can’t wait to see it in high definition on my new 70″ plasma TV…
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I wonder how many black policemen are praying that all the good stuff isn’t gone before their day off?
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Why are all these people in London behaving like they’re from third world countries?
oh wait a minute……….
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London joins Amy Winehouse and Norway in the growing list of victims of Rupert Murdoch’s “Operation Distraction”.
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3D home entertainment isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Once you get it all set up, you’ll realise that you forgot to rob the glasses.
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I wonder if the first thing David Cameron says to Nick Clegg after coming back early from his holiday is ”I leave you alone for two fucking minutes!!…”
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Gavin from AutoGlass has a right job on his hands now.
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If these riots go on any longer then Libya will be reclassified as a peaceful protest…
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So Cameron wants to stop these riots?
I’ve heard that the Taliban, Iraq and Libya had a pretty efficient way of quelling them – why don’t we ask them?
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Apparently all this rioting is just a side show to hide the news that Britain has now got a woman in charge of parking a battleship!
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News: “Government condemns riots and looting”
Well done government – that’ll sort things out, big style!
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The Kaiser Chiefs must be feeling pretty fucking smug right now.
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Giving Eastenders a miss tonight, bbc news channel is the same but live!
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Following the riots and looting in Tottenham a large number of Scousers will now not travel down for Saturdays Spurs v Everton premiership game,due to fears that all the best stuff has already been stolen.
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I said to my mate “We’re in the middle of a huge recession, we’ve got Noel Edmonds on TV and we’ve got rioting on the streets of London. It’s like being back in the 80′s”
He said “Yeah, what’s next, Liverpool win the league?”
Oh how we both laughed.
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Say what you like about the Tottenham rioters but at least they made Ross Kemp fuck off from London for a few days.
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I don’t blame those Blacks in north London for going on a looting rampage….
How else are they supposed to make a living now Amy Winehouse isn’t buying skag anymore ?.
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My son just said to me, “Look at all those policemen on the news just standing there, letting the niggers do whatever they want.”
“Now son, I’ve told you before: you can’t say that word anymore, it’s not politically correct.”
“Sorry Dad, I meant police officers.”
Good lad.
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My racist jokes are getting a lot of dislikes today,
It’s almost like 100′s of blacks have all just got a new laptop or something,
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Aaron Lennon takes it on his chest and brings it down, passes it to Bassong who runs with it before laying it off to Huddlestone, Defoe spots a window and makes a run, Huddlestone sees him and makes the pass and Defoe puts it away nicely.
“Right lads,” says Palacios, “let’s get one more Plasma before the police get here.”
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Niggers running everywhere, throwing things, complete waste of taxpayers money.
And I thought the Olympics was next year?
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Say what you like about North Londoners, but their efforts in doing the place up in order to make the Man City & Man United fans feel at home for the Charity Shield match today is wholly admirable.
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Inner City riots, King Kenny at Liverpool and a Tory Goverment making massive cuts..All we need now is The Specials at Number 1 for true 80′s revival.
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London police have released CCTV footage of the youths involved in the riots in Tottenham last night.
Anyone that recognises any of the teeth should call Crimestoppers immediately.
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Following the riots in Tottenham I think its important to remind ourselves that not all black people are stereotypical thieves and arsonists.
The vast majority are in fact drug dealers and rapists.
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I’m thinking about going to Tottenham/Enfield tomorrow to get a new tv but I can’t make my mind up where to buy it from.
The Red Lion or The Fox and Hounds?
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I see a couple of Police cars were wrecked during last nights riots in Tottenham.
Rather short-sighted of the black community, ruining 2 of their methods of public transport like that.
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An Aldi store was devastated by fire last night.
A spokesmen for the store said the extent of the damage could run into tens of pounds.
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The safest place to be in Tottenham this morning, is in the Spurs trophy cabinet.
There’s no chance of looters visiting there.
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When I saw all those niggers rioting on Tottenham high street I knew I had to find somewhere safe to hide where they wouldn’t go.
I’m still stuck in the job centre.
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