Tim Wade's Blog

Good morning/afternoon/evening,

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to friends and family, but it is difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following :

Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress , non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all .

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the United Kingdom is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee .

By accepting this greeting, please be advised that you are accepting these terms :

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable on the proviso that there is no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher .

Best Regards ( without prejudice )

Name withheld ( Privacy Act )

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First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank Sherry while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, bread and dripping, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a tin, and didn’t get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos.
Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn’t open on a Sunday, somehow we didn’t starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers and Bubble Gum.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter, milk from the cow,and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight because……
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY or dvd films, or flat screen colour TV’s,
no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms………..WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time….

We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays,

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mum didn’t have to go to work to help dad make ends meet because we didn’t need to keep up with the Jones’s!

Not everyone made the rugby/football/cricket/netball team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on
MERIT

Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and throw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren’t concentrating ..
We can string sentences together and spell and have proper conversations because of a good, solid three R’s education.
Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn’t invent stupid names for their kids like ‘Kiora’ and ‘Blade’ and ‘Ridge’ and ‘Vanilla’

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL !

And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

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A busy week this one. I have reinstated all the forms on Spain hotel guide (well the Marbella hotels anyway) so they don’t collect quite the information they used to. Having changed them all before Xmas to collect alternative hotels etc, they didn’t get the leads they did before so it was a bad idea. Not my idea – just my job to change them and change them back.

Also I am getting a load of shit from a new girl selling properties in Cape Verde who’s obvious power mad entry to the company includes insulting my design of cape-verde-property-direct.com – she doesn’t like greens, and wants yellows. Green is not appropriate. Then what the fuck colour is appropriate for a shitty little island of the coast of Africa that nobody wants to buy a house at. It is called Cape Verde, verde means green, so lets have a green website. Anyway, little changes to colour mean nothing unless every website visitor shares her taste, not mine, so it can wait while more important money making projects overtake it and it is forgotten about.

I have also just done a blog for my friends at Windlip (who are snowboard manufacturers) who have sent my new 750€ board. It is called a J Class and is top banana, and I can’t wait to get it. I have been looking at these Burton C60 bindings for it too. Cool! Shame Burton’s website isn’t a bit faster – it’s shit. If they got rid of all that flash bollox and made the site faster they might sell more!

Apart from that, not a lot of new news. Was a bit ill yesterday and so was my dog. Andi has been great bringing me medicine, cigarettes and food etc, but thats why she is so beautiful and I love her so much…..

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Happy Xmas to everyone who knows me.

I was a good catholic boy and went to midnight mass in Turin, and have spent the whole time shopping, watching DVD’s and eating lots (on my new low colesterol diet).

My mate Nick is back tomorrow (I’ve had his flat while he has been away; although I have spent most nights con la bellissima ragazza), and we are off snowboarding 29th and probably most of next week. I have a mate on the lifts at one of the largest Italian resorts, with the last Olympic downhill course, of which the start is one of the steepest nightmares I have ever come down. I’m looking forward to that. Nick is also bringing back a new collection of music for my iPod.

New Year, who knows?

Buon Natale!

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If you didn’t know yet you can now download Skype to most mobile handsets that have a data service.

http://www.skype.com/intl/en-gb/download/skype/mobile/?cm_mmc=Skype-_-hardware-_-Mobile_Device_Indicator-_-IT_IT_20070601

And then you could Skype me – well, you could if you knew my Skypename!

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If ever I have seen a total waste of money, fuel, electricity and not to mention mooring facilities, it was Elton John’s yacht, Hercules moored in a small town in Liguria the night of the 12th of August.

Why he needs a boat of that size to house his over large torso and his gay friends is beyond me – I hope he pays a lot of tax on it.

Elton – you should be ashamed of yourself both by better looking after the environment, and giving some of that cash to charity (like Mark Tolner)! Too many candles in the wind there matey – it lit up the whole of Liguria!

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At last, the 3 SkypePhone that I bought last week and has taken 5 days of battling 3′s incompetence is on and working, and I can now Skype my friends whilst walking down the street, drinking in the pub, lying in the bath or sat on the toilet!

“At fucking long last!”

So, you want my number and SkypeName? Be serious – you are not even a registered user of my blog, and haven’t even had the decency to have left me a comment on my web site! If you are important enough to know me, then you already have it anyway.

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Yes.

After taking the seat out again (and the charging unit, and reversing the batteries, I got it started and the vehicle battery is showing 12.7v on the meter and starts again. I’ll keep an eye on that this afternoon, and go out and get a 240v charger for the leisure ones that I can sun directly from the 240v from the generator. Hopefully this will boost them all.

The beautiful girlfriend will be happy as we are off on holiday for a bit. When I get paid anyway!

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After taking the passenger seat out, disconnecting the charging unit for the 3 batteries and all the appliances in my motor home, finding the blown fuse and blowing a couple more and putting it all back together again, and recharging, MY VAN BATTERY IS FUCKING DEAD AGAIN!!!

Molto grande bastardo!!!

Now to get it started, disconnect the van and the leisure battery systems and charge the leisure ones independently; hopefully getting a decent amount of charge into all of them so it can hold it for a decent amount of time.

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There are few people in the world that can say they are lucky enough to have caned some noise and speed out of a 4.3 litre Aston Martin engine, but I’m one of them. And I didn’t crash it either.

Truly a pleasure to drive.

Me and Roxy with quite a nice car

Yes, I have actually driven one

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