Tim Wade's Blog

New 2012 McLaren F1 Car launched today to be driven by Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton: 2012 McLaren F1 Car

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Good morning/afternoon/evening,

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to friends and family, but it is difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following :

Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress , non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all .

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the United Kingdom is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee .

By accepting this greeting, please be advised that you are accepting these terms :

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable on the proviso that there is no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher .

Best Regards ( without prejudice )

Name withheld ( Privacy Act )

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First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank Sherry while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, bread and dripping, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a tin, and didn’t get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos.
Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn’t open on a Sunday, somehow we didn’t starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers and Bubble Gum.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter, milk from the cow,and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight because……
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY or dvd films, or flat screen colour TV’s,
no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms………..WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time….

We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays,

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mum didn’t have to go to work to help dad make ends meet because we didn’t need to keep up with the Jones’s!

Not everyone made the rugby/football/cricket/netball team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on
MERIT

Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and throw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren’t concentrating ..
We can string sentences together and spell and have proper conversations because of a good, solid three R’s education.
Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn’t invent stupid names for their kids like ‘Kiora’ and ‘Blade’ and ‘Ridge’ and ‘Vanilla’

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL !

And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

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Parvinder and Habib are beggars.. They beg in different areas of London

Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Parvinder ‘I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?’

Parvinder says, ‘Look at your sign, what does it say’?
Habib’s sign reads ‘I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support’.

Parvinder says ‘No wonder you only get £2- £3

Habib says.. ‘So what does your sign say’?

Parvinder shows Habib his sign….
It reads, ‘I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan ‘.

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Many thanks to Noemi today for sending these across. Just cos I have been snowboarding this winter, doesn’t mean I have forgotten any of you – ANY OF YOU!!!! And I’m coming, soon. Can’t wait. Alllleeee!

Cheers for the fotos Noemi! Una/Due settimana si? Io telefono si? Con Mirko, Gio, Ciche prima, si?

WOW. I can’t wait for the summer!

And for all you’s olived skinned beauties, down there, who’s the ‘real’ sun specialist? I am well underway already this season too

I can’t wait to get back! “Non posso attendere di essere di ritorno con lei, per l’estate, si?”

C U SOON! Very soon!

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Are girlfriends just a waste of money and waste of disk space? I have just ‘cleaned’ up my photos anyway, just to be on the safe side

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And if you think that looks nice, just have a look at the fresh shrimps on this one. And the complementary vini (did I mention that before, I don’t think I did, haha). Me and Laura are certainly filling our fat faces on daily basis, just to make sure it is OK, obviously. Check out the posh new shelters for the summer too. lol:

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Laura was moaning that I never write anything about her on my blog, and I think she was feeling a bit left out. “Nick is on there!” she was moaning at me yesterday Nick, so for all the rest of my friends, this is Laura a girl we know from Turin who is really cool, drinks lots of beer and smokes loads of spliffs, and at 46 is just learning to snowboard (I bet she’s really happy I just said her age, lol):

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Sorry for the wait guys. My blog now translates into:

English
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Malti
Nederlands
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român?
sloven?ina
slovenš?ina
shqipe
svenska
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Just click the ‘Translate’ link under every post! And you can now also import any post immediately into Facebook, Yahoo or Google groups using the buttons above each post.

And if you are on Facebook, and want to get my posts on your profile, just Click Here and click the ‘Follow’ button

Have fun.

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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “NO! I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology, and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?!”

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