Posts Tagged ‘Elton John’

Amy Winehouse Jokes

Monday, July 25th, 2011
share save 256 24 Amy Winehouse Jokes

Amy Winehouse. In a failed attempt to helpĀ before she died, not even Gavin from Autoglass could fix her crack problem.

Can all those waiting to make a joke about Amy Winehouse please form a line…

It’s what she would’ve wanted.

Whats the difference between Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse?

Jeremy Clarkson is still on top gear.

Two detectives are in Amy Winehouses flat. One says to the other “I’ve never heard of her, what was she famous for?”

The other copper replies “She was a very well known musician.”

The first detective looks around and says, “Ah, I see now. Let me guess, she played the spoons?”

Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and a Moped?

A Moped can hit 30

What do Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a 10 year old crack addiction.

Before telling such sick and abusive jokes about Amy Winehouse, think about her poor close friends.

Imagine how they’ll feel on Thursday, when they finally come round and find out.

News of Amy Winehouse’s death travelled with such speed. When I heard I couldn’t help but crack up with emotion. She was a real heroin. It’s such a blow. She really made a hash of things though. Her life just went to pot. Someone should have kept tabs on her.

Elton John will perform at Amy Winehouse’s funeral with a beautiful rendition of Candle Under The Spoon.

News: Amy Winehouse is found slightly more dead today, than yesterday.

Alex Higgins and George Best are very, very, very happy….

They’ve just found out heaven’s getting a new Winehouse…

What was Amy Winehouse’s biggest hit?

Her last one.

I can’t believe she died at 27.

Poor girl didn’t even make it to an ounce.

It seems that this is the end of the line for Ms. Winehouse.

The metropolitan police have had a shocking week.

Luckily for them, the Camden drug statistics just lowered by 50%

Unemployment in London has just hit a record high, after 6,000 drug dealers have just been put out of work.

My dyslexic mate just text me “There’s been a death at an Army Warehouse somewhere in North London”

Amy Winehouse was found dead, face down, in a pile of shit, piss and vomit….

Other people know it as Camden!

Lets not all focus on the negatives that surround her death, lets focus on the good things she left us with.

Like a fucking chance at scoring some crack in London again.

I suppose with a surname like Winehouse, it was inevitable that Amy would die because of drink.

I just hope that my son, Dave Beergarden, doesn’t go the same way.

Keep hearing Amy Winehouse being described as a ‘Wasted talent’..

Fair enough ……. she was always wasted!

After hearing the news of Amy Winehouse’s death, I could not be more upset…

I had her down for August in the sweepstakes.

So Amy Winehouse is dead?

What a waste of breast implants!

And another one sniffs the dust!

In honour of Amy Winehouse, we shall all be doing 15 lines in the pub toilets, tonight!

W.I.P Amy.

From your good friend Jonathon Ross. x

What the fuck? Michael Jackson is dead?

It must be shit to be Pete Doherty; all of your best friends dying in one day….

Looks like theirs going to be an overdose on Amy Winehouse jokes today.Amy Winehouse found dead age 27.

Her family, friends, dealer and the owner of her local bargain booze are said to be totally distraught.

Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her London flat.

Oh well, more heroin for the rest of us.

They should’a made her go to rehab,
but now she’s,
Gone. Gone. Gone.

Enjoy!

Elton John’s Yacht – Hercules.

Thursday, August 14th, 2008
share save 256 24 Elton Johns Yacht   Hercules.

If ever I have seen a total waste of money, fuel, electricity and not to mention mooring facilities, it was Elton John’s yacht, Hercules moored in a small town in Liguria the night of the 12th of August.

Why he needs a boat of that size to house his over large torso and his gay friends is beyond me – I hope he pays a lot of tax on it.

Elton – you should be ashamed of yourself both by better looking after the environment, and giving some of that cash to charity (like Mark Tolner)! Too many candles in the wind there matey – it lit up the whole of Liguria!

Bad Behavior has blocked 879 access attempts in the last 7 days.