Tim Wade's Blog

A  Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates..   As he  enters, he asks St. Peter, ‘I have a question that’s haunted me all of my  days on earth. Am I  white with black stripes, or am I black with white  stripes?’
   St. Peter said, ‘That’s a question only God can  answer.’
    So the zebra went off in search of  God.
    When he  found Him, the zebra asked, ‘God, please – I must know   Am I  white with black stripes, or am I black with white  stripes?’
  

God simply replied ‘You are what  you are.’
  
The  zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him,   ‘Well,  did God straighten out your query for you?’
   
The  zebra looked puzzled.. ‘No sir,  God simply said ‘You are what you  are.’
  

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, ‘Well  then, there you are. You are  white with black  stripes..’
   
 The zebra asked St. Peter, ‘How do  you know that for  certain?’
  

Because,’ said St. Peter, ‘If you were black  with white stripes,   God would  have said, ‘You is what you  is..’
   
WARNING: If you  laugh at this, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Rev Wright and  Obama will be comin after yo white  ass!

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A man goes to a Psychologist and says, “Doc I got a real problem, I can’t stop thinking about sex.”
The Psychologist says, “Well let’s see what we can find out”, and pulls out his ink blots. “What is this a picture of?” he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, “That’s a man and a woman on a bed making love.”

The Psychologist says, “very interesting,” and shows the next picture. “And what is this a picture of?”
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, “That’s a man and a woman on a bed making love.”

The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, “What is this a picture of?”
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, “That’s a man and a woman on a bed making love.”

The Psychologist states, “Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex.”
“Me!?” demands the patient. “You’re the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!”

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